The Adventures of Bob the Pizza Boy
by Supergirrl
Summary: Bob the Pizza Boy drops into the world of Phantom of the Opera, and has many...interesting adventures. Hilarious fic.


Are you sick of Sues dropping into Erik's world. Here's a new twist on an old plotline:The one who falls through the portal is an incredibly dumb pizza boy. This fic will chronicle his adventures in the world of Phantom of the Opera. Depending on the popularity, Bob may visit other fandoms.

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The teenage pizza delivery guy looked a bit nervous as he stared up at the looming building before him. This didn't look like 27 Elm Street in Dullville, USA, but whatever. Completely oblivious to the stares he was receiving from the Parisian elites who surrounded him, he ascended the wide staircase, holding two pizzas.

The French surrounding him stared with disbelief at the man in strange clothes, carrying two boxes emitting a most aromatic scent. After a moment of outright, rude staring, they averted their eyes, and continued their business.

As he passed through the doors, (I feel like we should give him a name. How about Bob? Bob is a good name. Yes, let's go with Bob.) the pizza delivery boy-Excuse me, Bob- noticed that a)Everyone was wearing clothes that looked similar to what people wore in the movie Titanic-Bob hadn't particularly wanted to see this movie, but his girlfriend had dragged him to it- and b)Instead of lamps with light bulbs, there were candles and odd little jar things with a flame inside them. Bob, putting all of his four of his brilliant, cunning brain cells to the task, determined that 27 Elm Street had been converted into some sort of historical reenactment thing in the brief two hours since he had last driven past. Which is perfectly logical, of course.

The various occupants of the Opera Populaire watched the oddly dressed youth whose face was covered with a protective layer of zits covering his pasty face hurry by them, carrying large boxes, before going back to their usual activities, such as dancing, singing, and being Punjabbed by angry Phantoms.

After moving busily through poorly lit corridors and receiving more odd looks, Bob found himself in a now-empty room (He had kicked the attractive young female singer out), staring at a large mirror and the bouquets of flowers scattered everywhere. He noticed a red rose with a black ribbon tied around the stem lying on the floor. The singer lady must have dropped it. Frowning, Bob picked it up while trying (And failing) to balance the pizza boxes with his other arm.

Behind the mirror, Erik stared impatiently at his RoseWarningDevice that would beep at him when Christine picked up the rose, signaling him to come through the mirror. The small black object in his hand suddenly began to beep loudly. With a grin, Erik stuck it into the pocket of his cape, next to his cell phone, iPod, Blackberry, Treo, and PA. Opening his mouth, he more or less shouted," Insolent boy, this slave of fashion,  
basking in your glory! Ignorant fool, this brave young suitor, sharing in my  
triumph!"

Bob, midway through picking up the pizza he had just dropped, straightened and stared at the mirror. Was he tripping, or had he just lost it?

Erik had a nagging feeling that Christine was supposed to be singing something, but he was far too excited to care about minute details such as who, exactly, he was about to kidnap/seduce. Continuing with his song, he belted out," Flattering child, you shall know me, see why in shadow I hide! Look at your face in the mirror -I am there  
inside!" He pulled the lever that made the mirror slide away.

Bob was very scared. There was a voice in his head, singing to him, telling him to come to the Angel of Music. There was also randomly appearing fog floating through the room, and he could see the faint shape of a man standing on the other side of the mirror that had mysteriously become a sliding door. Bob figured it was best to do what the voice in his head was telling him to do, so he began to walk towards the mirror, still holding his pizza boxes.

Erik's mask had fallen down over his eyes, almost completely obscuring his vision. It would look kind of stupid if he adjusted it in front of Christine, so he just let it be. It's not like he would be kidnapping some other person, possibly a pizza boy from the future named Bob, just because he couldn't see! Extending a gloved hand, Erik sang," I am your Angel of Music ... Come to me: Angel of Music ..."

Bob was a bit confused about the whole situation, especially the way the guy was singing to him. Was he supposed to know him? Bob's vision, being blocked by the pizza boxes and the random fog, did not pick up the rolled carpet in front of him, causing him to trip over it. As Bob stumbled, the hand not holding the pizza was thrown forward, and landed on Erik's outstretched palm. Bob gripped Erik's hand tightly, trying to regain his balance.

Erik frowned. He didn't recall Christine having such a large hand. Oh, well, Erik could always lop off her hand, make a prosthetic, and put that on instead. It's not like she really needed her hands, being a singer and all.

Bob was, at this point, beyond bewildered. Accepting that something very weird and completely out of Bob's control was going on, he began to follow Erik down into his deep, dark world of music.

By the way, Bob was still carrying his pizza. God knows that the pizza is essential to the plot.

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